When people ask me what I do right now, my answer is just simple and short – I STAY AT HOME with the kids, period! So yes I’m a SAHM (Stay at home mom) and honestly, never in my whole life I imagined that I would become one. Oh I could hear the 10-year younger version of me yelling “I studied for 16 long years, graduated with honors and definitely changing a baby diaper is not the job for me, blah blah and blah!!! Fast forward, it’s Friday, and I’m in our house tutoring Louise with her assignment while breastfeeding Martina. Am I sad? Hell no! Am I feeling sorry for myself? Nope, not one bit!
Honestly, there’s only one part of me that isn’t happy for being a SAHM, and that’s my pocket. And that is why I’m working part-time right now, working my ass off to experience again the feeling of earning my own money. So yes, apart from being a SAHM, I’m also a WAHM (Work at home mom). Does this mean my life’s perfect now because I’m with my kids while working? I’m a big fat liar if I would answer yes and here’s why:
- Being a SAHM/WAHM is exhausting
Going back to the years when I was still a corporate slave, I got to enjoy breaks and take a nap and even dine out after work. Right now, yes I can find time to lie down but taking a nap is as hard as hitting a 100% perfomance-based bonus! Why? Go on reading…
- I’m busier than ever
You think I can sleep early with kids and wake up anytime I want? How I wish! I couldn’t even remember the last time I’ve slept for 8 hours. You see, I stay up ’til midnight my friends, wake up after 2 hours for Martina and once my alarm rings at 5am, there’s no turning back. No matter how still sleepy I am, I have to stand up and start my routine as listed below:
5AM = Breastfeed my baby, give milk to Louise, cook breakfast and allot 10 minutes to bathe myself.
7AM = Working my ass off upstairs to finish deadlines and hoping Martina won’t cry for milk before my first 2-hour shift will end.
9AM = Bathe Louise and prepare her for school, watch Youtube with her (can’t find any way to convince her drink milk!) and all these while Martina is either watching us in delight or crying just because she can’t wait any longer for mommy’s milk. Wait, did I mention I still need to bathe Martina and clean the house?
10AM-12Noon = Even with Martina beside me, I still consider these hours as my “ME Time”. While breastfeeding, I check Facebook, eat snacks, watch Brother Bo’s Full Tank and by 10:30, I should be ready to work again – this is either blogging, checking our blog stats or working for a sideline job that I accept once in a while. Okay, so let’s be clear here, for 2 hours without Louise, only 30 minutes is allotted for “Me Time”.
12 Noon = Louise is back from school, it’s noisy at home again and oh well, back to taking care of her and breastfeed again my baby. Before I know it, it’s already time for another work.
1PM – 4PM = Supposedly working for 2 hours but most of the time, I need to pause my tracker by 3PM for another breastfeeding session and have snacks and then work again until I reach 2-2.5 hours.
4Pm = I am very very tired, lying down already while breastfeeding and really really hoping that I could take a nap… I’m already closing my eyes but wait, our TV’s on, my ears are like my eyes watching Teleserye. Oh and then Louise is talking to Mommy, either telling me something about school or her activities while I’m working. That is if she’s in good mood but if not, she’s crying by this time, forcing me to give her my phone.
5PM = Whether I’m feeling tired or not, I need to do the laundry. If it’s not my schedule, I’m in front of the laptop again for blogging or for sideline job. If I was already productive in the morning, I allot this time for some play and snuggles with my girls.
6PM = Fred’s home, eat dinner then if baby’s not crying, I wash the dishes while Fred’s having his quick but fun time with the girls before his part-time job starts at 7PM. Louise then bonds with mommy while having our night time half bath.
7PM = Work again. By this time though, while I try to hit my own deadline for our blog or a target from my sideline job, I take quick breaks once in a while to play with my girls, watch TV and prepare Martina for sleep (but she won’t sleep yet).
11PM = Tummy’s growling for a snack, drink Milo and brush teeth with my ‘feeling adult’ Louise, all these while Martina is crying because she seems eager to join us.
11:30PM = OK girls, time for bed (oh Hannah, they should be in bed by 8PM!!!). Fred should be joining us by this time and pray together as a family. If he’s not because he’s either busy making reports or having his own “ME Time”, the three of us go to sleep without him.
Honestly, this is the very moment of me wishing we have a memory foam mattress . I’ve read that it is very effective in reducing the symptoms of problems such as backpain and it can help a person sleep well.
12 Midnight!!!! = Oh Please! I could already hear the roosters’ crow and usually by this time, I’m still awake! Fred, time to drop that phone and go to sleep!!!!
Time runs very fast and it’s 5AM again…
In case you’re wondering who’s cooking for lunch and dinner, I thank God we’re living with my mother-in-law. She also looks after the girls while I’m working upstairs.
- The phrase “I AM MY OWN BOSS” is a MYTH
As you can see from my schedule above, I have different bosses – 2 bosses from work and my 2 sweet and lovely girls for whom I am on call for 24/7. There’s no such thing as “Later my girls, let mommy sleep for at least 1 hour and then call me when you’re hungry or your butts need cleaning”. When you’re a mother at home, there are just no excuses, as simple as that.
Image source: lauraagudelo272.wordpress.com
- Usually trap in ‘Angry Mom’ mode
Relax friends, of course I’m not a bad mom but here’s a situation I deal with almost every day:
I’m busy doing work or house chores, glad that Martina’s sleeping and then the ‘Ate’ who’s very active (no matter what, I still thank God she’s very active) starts shouting and then booom, startles my poor baby. And then before I know it, I’m back again on the bed, feeding Martina who’s still scared and crying. The angry mother then would start scolding Louise, telling her things that either would scare her or cause her to start having her daily tantrum.
Image Source: momlifetoday.com
Before, when I was out for work for almost 10 hours, time at home is very precious where I just spent my hours bonding with Louise instead of being grumpy. However, life of being a SAHM/WAHM, especially with 2 kids, is more challenging and it’s harder now to pull myself together whenever things go wrong. I can’t just walk away and be back when everything’s okay.
- Less time for husband
With all the things I share above, honestly, there’s very little time left for Fred. He arrives home at 6PM and the only time left for us for some bonding is… zero during weekdays, Nada! Pretty the same when I was still working actually.
So do you think being a SAHM/WAHM is easy? The answer is a big NO, the struggle is indeed REAL my friends. It’s more tiring and realistically, time with kids is still limited. But at the end of the day, what matter most are the happiness and confidence that my daughters are feeling knowing that mommy is with them at home (even though busy) and the snore I hear from my husband who’s sleeping soundly because he has less problems in life (haha! Sorry Fred, I know you’re tired too).
Being a SAHM and/or WAHM is not for all mothers. The question “Can you afford it?” matters very much. Unless husband’s income can compensate your family’s lifestyle or you can still make money and be a WAHM (work online or run business while you have help from family or Yaya at home), then go for it.
I feel you. I’m a stay-at-home mom and I have writing gigs, and I have two boys, one is a special needs child.
Kudos to you and to all moms who are trying their very best to make everyday happen. 🙂
I know how you feel momma 🙂 It’s been almost four years since I quit law school coz I found out I was pregnant with baby number two. There are ups and downs and a lot of what if’s, but at the end of the day, kids make sacrifices worth it 🙂
I agree with what the moms said, to each her own haha. Kasi we are all unique when it comes to family situations. What worked for her may not work for you. Pero you can get bits of knowledge from the experiences of other people.
Whew! Moms really have their hands full! I’m a SAHM also with blogging on the side. I used to accept design jobs before but I cannot commit enough dedicated time to it. Galing mo, mommy!
you should watch the movie Bad Moms, I can relate to it at nakakatawa sya. I’m a SAHM/WAHM myself and I understand exactly what you feel.
Naku I can relate to this! It’s tiring but rewarding. To be honest I was more relaxed when I was working in the office vs being a full-time mom and working online. Heheheh
I have tried working at home and it’s not the bed of roses everyone makes it out to be lol.
Yah I agree with you if some think that SAHM is a lucky and easy job they are wrong kasi same din as a working mom. I experienced to be a SAHM for one week lang ha para din akong working mom kc demanding ang kid he wants my time so much. kaya for me either SAHM, WAHM, or wirking mom same lang yun mommy ka pa din at the end it’s still our responsibility and we love doing it.
Correct! Mothering is really a tiring job but yes we all love it!.
I always wish I’m a SAHM but I love my job so much. 🙂 And we need the money. Hehehe.. Being a WAHM though is super hirap. I tried parang 1 week palang, suko na ko. Sumisigaw na ko ng “ibalik nyo ko sa office!”. Hihii!
I know how you feel hahaha, kase mas gusto ko talaga magwork in the office kaysa gawin mga housechores. Soon, I’ll definitely go back, but saka na siguro once magschool na din ang bunso namin.
I really can relate to you. It’s never easy! And yes to angry-mom mode especially when you have lots of things to do. Patience it is.
Yes I agree. Patience talaga!
So I really admire SAHM/WAHM! I want to be one too! But as you mentioned, our pockets will also suffer. We have a different situation at our house where I am the only one working. So yeah, there’s no chance to be SAHM/WAHM anytime in the future. Not unless if the hubby finds a decent and regular job but now we are ok with our situation as long as he takes good care of our children. So I am really proud of all the Daddys at Home and Mommies at Home!
Wow, I salute Daddys at home din, for sure mas madaming tawa ang mga kids. Daddies are more playful kase.
[…] a work-at-home mom who spends most of my days only at home while breastfeeding my baby, I now have less needed luxury […]
I’m also a WAHM/SAHM and I understand you completely! When my husband goes home from work pa, you have to take of him as well. Literally the whole day ang trabaho. But how can we complain? Konting lambing lang ng mga bata kakawala na naman ng pagod 🙂
Agree! Iba pa din iyong feeling na kids are happy when they always see me being at home with them.
Hello Mommy Hannah! We’re in the same boat! I am a WAHM, too. And it isn’t easy! I would often get remarks na ang sarap ng buhay kasi sa house lang nagwowork. Little did the other people know that being able to work-at-home has its own challenges din naman especially if you’re a Mom! Haha! I guess, all situations (whether SAHM/WAHM/working-in-the-office Mom) has its own fair share of struggles and booboos naman. When I was still working in the corporate, I would curse the traffic every single weekday. Haha! Being a WAHM is one of the most fulfilling decisions I’ve ever made.
Yes, one of the advantages talaga for WAHMs is you’ll be with your kids right after work, no cursing of traffic, etc.
I have high regards sa mga stay at home moms. Me and my husband had an argument nga about that before. Buti pa when you work at the office you have the chance to take a break. SAHM/WAHM has to choose pa if they need to do the laundry first or eat on their “breaks” which is when the kids are asleep. Wondermoms kayo that’s for sure. 🙂
At minsan, nakakalimutan nang kumain ng snacks or sometimes nga kahit inom ng water, di pa halos magawa agad, tsk!
Nakakapagod and iba talga feeling pag working mom ka sa office, madaming home base jobs naman kaya lang not sure income for your family minsan
Yes I agree, di talaga sure basta home-based jobs. In time, once malaki na mga kids, I’ll be going back working in an office naman, iba pa rin ang may office work.
Reading your post makes me echo the statement “the struggle is real”. I hope you get a me-time kahit once a month just to unwind and refresh.
You’re right Mommy Nerisa, I badly need a me-time… I’m yearning for a relaxing day na nga in a spa maybe. Naku, baka next year pa ako magkatime for this.
I agree its never easy. But being systematic and getting used to it helps a lot. Im a wahm, i have a home based business, i dont have a nanny, i do everything from house cleaning to laundry and ironing clothes, i have two kids to goes to school and i attend to business matters plus i have a husband to take care of too. It took me years to master multitasking and now i can say its not easy parin but i can manage it.. 🙂 you’ll get over it in time, trust me 😉
OMG, I salute you Mommy Queen! Hopefully, in time, I’ll get over it and have more time for hubby.
I’m a Sahm / wahm for a year now and so far, I’m enjoying it. We are lucky since I have a trusted yaya, every morning I have 3 to 4hrs to update my blog or to film. I do the bath and nap time so yaya can do other house chores, I give my son to her when it’s 4 pm so I can continue my blogging duties. I feel the stress reading your routine, nevertheless having 2 girls and your supportive husband makes them all worth it. Keep up the good work!
Wow, how I wish we can find a yaya na so I can have more time for blogging na din and have a schedule like yours.
I am very happy to finally meet someone who is in a similar situation as I am. Like you, I have two young children and I am both a SAHM and WAHM. I miss working but I don’t want to give up staying at home with the kids either. It’s not easy. Some days I want to give up. But push lang ng push. 😊
Nice to know you Jackie, same with you, nakakamiss talaga ang office work. Eh kase naman, puro babies/kids na lang nakakausap natin for the whole day (chuckle).
I salute SAHM and more so WAHM. It is no easy feat. The realuty is it is tough to me a mom… WAH or being a full time employee… taking care of a family especially with small kids is tiring, but the rewards after is great.
rewarding talaga Juvy. whether working mom, SAHM or WAHM, as long as we love and take care of our kids, we are loved as well and even happier.
Single mom here with a special needs 3-year old, very active little boy. I am still a corporate slave just because I cannot afford to work from home just yet, but I am glad to have a nanny-sometimes-all-around-maid helping me and my son out. I work 10+ hours a day and comes home when my son is already asleep. Our situation may differ but I feel ya, momma! Kudos to you for being able to manage being both a SAHM and a WAHM. By the way, do you babywear? It would probably make your life a wee bit better with the little girl. 🙂
Wow kudos to you Liz, kahit may yaya nakakapagod pa din, I was a working mom for the first 3 years of my firstborn’s life. Halos wala na kaming time to bond kase aside sa tulog na siya, I have no energy na din to wake up early and play with her. Babywearing? Yes I do that Liz kaso my baby will cry if I’ll use my saya (carrier) with her while sitting or nasa bahay lang. Gusto nya kase iyong icarry ko siya for long walks and nasa cold place like mall. Haaaay babies!
Being a stay-at-home-mom is not an easy task, I so can relate to this post of yours but at the end of the day it is very fulfilling. 😃
Correct! Fulfilling talaga…
You know ive always wantes to become a SAHM. If our family could afford, im also willing to leave the work place and stay at home for the family.. 🙂
You’re right sis, mahirap din kase these days if si hubby lang may income… kaya kayod din tayo mga mommies.
Dream ko nung una maging sahm. Working mom ako for 7 years na.. Ngayon ang dream ko maging wahm na. Nakakapagod din ano kahit nasa bahay. Kahit working ako, di rin ako ligtas sa house work. Sana mapush ko rin mag wahm 🙂
Yes you can sis, madami naman jobs available online ngayon. Hopefully you can find one and be with your kids always.
I’m a SAHM mom too, I tried WAH but it did not last because I want to focus on my son but maybe in the near future, I will consider working at home again so my pocket will be happy too. 🙂
Mahirap talaga sis… Working for months now and nakakapagod talaga kahit nasa bahay lang. Sometimes I even ask myself if I could last long. Praying for strength and good health talaga.