Fred and I have been married for almost 7 years now and to be honest, I’m praying hard that what people call as the‘7-year-itch‘ will remain a fiction to us and to every couple out there. It is a psychological term that suggests that happiness in a relationship declines after around year seven of a marriage. Who gives that number? I have no idea and I have no plans of knowing more. Anyway, like every couple who have been together for many years, we also have our ups and downs. But right now, I can say we’re still happy with each other which is good, even after having 2 kids. But is it a healthy one? I think so. There are many signs of a healthy marriage but for me, having the 5 below is enough. Of course, there are still a lot of things to work out even until our hair turns to gray.
1. You both say or show that you love one another.
Saying I Love You daily is hard for some couple. And even if you are both doing it as a habit already, it’s still not enough. So what’s really more important? Simple actions showing love is more important and that’s a fact. Even a 5-minute talk with just the two of you is already priceless.
2. You laugh with each other.
For us, our relationship started with being friends and one of the top reasons I chose him was because he has a good sense-of-humor. Thankfully, after many years, he still has it and most of the times, even when I’m mad already, we still end up laughing. I’m a serious type of person but I’m amazed how I make him laugh as well. And it’s not about telling jokes because we’re not good at that. We laugh because of our choice of words that only us can understand. We laugh because of our reactions which reminded us of something only the two of us know, all those kind of stuff.
3. You still enjoy sex.
There’s no rule number when it comes to the frequency of having sex for couples. Believe it or not, there are couples who survive long distance relationship even though they can only have sex once in a year, some even 5 years! Crazy right? Married couple’s sex is not about frequency, it’s about the quality. Do you enjoy it? Are both of you excited every time you do it? Are you both feeling satisfied after? If you answer YES to these questions then you have a healthy one, regardless of how many times you do it.
4. You have each other’s back.
In good times and in bad times, you support each other. There are times this thing is just unbelievably impossible to do but what’s important is that you try to understand more than blaming him/her.
5. You are honest and open with each other.
No secrets, that’s the rule. You are each other’s partner and I’m afraid 100% trust can only be given if both of you are honest with each other. Even if the other one is not asking, it’s important to share everything, most importantly if it involves your health. From the stress you feel at work, to feeling body pains, or even changes you suddenly feel in your body, there’s no reason to be shy. And yes, even if it involves sexual health (from past relationships, etc.) like having HPV, genital warts , etc. which all can be treated with proper medication, like Warticon for warts for example. Thankfully, Fred and I have been loyal to each other since we made our relationship official so I hope having sexual health issues is far from our path.
Notice how I didn’t mention anything about kids and money because believe it or not, there are a lot of couples out there who reach senior years together even though they don’t have wealth and/or a child.